There was a featured blog recently about 10 things a blogger hated.  It was so juvenile stereotypical and just plain annoying, it almost made me forget I, too, have been  a self-richeous bitch at times.. (I couldn't finish it). So I decided to make my own list to prove my maturity and that I have learned something in the last 7 years.

10 Things I Find Disparaging

1) Assumptions about gun owners:
    Any time I read or read about someone who owns a gun, unless its a conversation about types of guns themselves, ammo, hunting or self-defense, it usually sounds something like this," Redneck, retarded, southern, dixie-wearing, beer chugging, antler plaque hanging inbreds are so stupid they wave around the guns thinking they are protecting themselves!" I own a gun, because I live in a bad side of town in an apartment that has been broken into before.
And it blows me away, because usually the person saying plays the card of the  liberal, is democratic, or is a peace/love/happiness kind of person, yet they are spitting out hurtful, intolerant, ignorant and hateful words about fellow human beings. Which is why #2 is....

2) People that portray the image of "love and peace" but  hate their opposing political party/culture etc.  You love peace love and happiness...until someone disagrees with you. Then you want to conveniently grab a gun from that inbred hillybilly and blow his brains out. You hypocritical, disillusioned fool.

3) People who try to tell others how to live, work, breathe, think, vote, Etc. . Advice is fine, flaming your beliefs all over town on your tshirts, pens, coffee mugs and even billboards is fine with me. But don't you ever try to force me to honor your beliefs in my life. This is my damn life. Get your own.

4)Mosquitoes. I wish a new insect could replace them that wouldn't inject my body with itchiness and spread malaria. Squish them all!

5) Most celebrities. Go to college, get a job, work for a living for a year (without any supplemental money from your family and freinds) and tell me your life is hard. Shut up and move to Kansas if you hate the paps so much. And stop lying about the amount of plastic surgery you get.  Not having forehead lines at 40 (or even 20) is not natural! You're not fooling anyone except for the dense folks, suck as Heidi Montag, who really believe that beauty is the (surgical) absence of flaws.

6) Cops that ticket you for 15 over. How many times have you seen an officer fly by without sirens?

7) Cars that slow down to 50 in a 55 MPH zone because they see a crown vic. In the fast lame. Totally unnecessary.

8) Cars that drive slow in the fast lane, and speed up and cut you off when you pass them. Because you're just way to cool to get passed by someone who's going faster than you...in the slower lane?! What are you thinking?

9)People who put their initials in pretty pink font on their car. Have you ever heard of a car-jacker? Or that women are targeted in almost all of these cases?  I mean, even if car-jacking ceased to exist, why would you need to brand your car?  its obvious its your car. You're driving it. And hopefully,  you have the title.

10) $20 T shirts. Unless its from a badass concert, a charity, or another event. Or if its signed by a famous person or has some other deeply sentimental value. That's understandable. But any Tshirt you buy for $20 from a retailer? They are laughing at you, all the way to the bank.

I'm almost addicted to celebrity blogs.
I have lots of schoolwork...and I procrastinate by the mindless entertainment of watching celebrities lives and their very human moments you never see on screen...like Pamela Anderson without makeup.
That being said, celebs are people too. Duh.
And like normal people, they can  be incredibly pathetic.
One thing I've learned, if anything, from celeb blogs,
is that mystery is the most attractive attribute to celebs.
The ones that allow the paps to invade their personal lives
All seem shallow, needy and pathetic (like most human beings at root).
The ones that uphold the privacy of their personal lives,
yet step up to the plate in their professional lives,
Are the ones the paps dream of covering.
The girl that cries to a tabloid every time she's in a major breakup?
L-A-M-E.

How to go from average cutie to elegant lady in about 1.5 hours
For young adult ladies with long wavy hair and pale skin (like me)


Part one: The basics

1. Know your hair. Know what looks best on you, what feels best on you, and how to get your hair that way. Experiment with products, call your hairstylist for advice, or search the internet.  You'd be surprised at what your hair can do given the right products and right tools!  And don't fall for the expensive stuff if you don't have the money -- Suave can give you similar results to more expensive brands.
2. Take care of your skin, and get it glowing.  Wash your face at least twice a day and moisturize at night.  If you have a breakout problem, a moisturizer with salicylic acid is a great choice, or oil-free moisturizing beauty lotion from oil of olay can work also.  Use a gradual self-tanner that matches your skin tone -- even if you don't want to look tan, it will even out your skin tone and make it glow.  Get a special tanning lotion for your face, as this is like permanent makeup when you use it every day.  Mix it with moisturizer that has SPF -- sunscreen is essential to having gorgeous skin as you age.  Finally, mix it with acne moisturizer if you're worried about breakouts.
3. Love your body.  If you are constantly comparing yourself, you'll never look how you want to (short of extensive plastic surgery).  Notice the uniqueness that is your body, and complement yourself on your favorite features -- gorgeous skin, versatile hair, a shapely butt, nice abs, awesome cheek bones, etc.  Your "imperfections" are what make you, you -- so enjoy it!
4.  Get active.  Whether its a stroll around the block, dancing around and singing into your round brush while getting ready, or preparing for a marathon, you WILL feel better about your body if you're getting active every day.


Now....let's start the countdown.  About 2 hours before you're going out,
1. Take a shower.  If its your first time using gradual tanner, exfoliate your entire body.  Then shave. Wash hair and use a shampoo and conditioner that corresponds with the look you're going for.  In my case, a moisturizing or "sleek" shampoo and conditioner help my wavy, sometimes frizzy hair stay calm and shiny.  While rinsing, leave some of the conditioner in for curly or more frizzy hair; just enough for your hair to still be slick. 

2. Towel dry body and hair, and apply gradual tanner.  Make sure to rub until the lotion is completely absorbed by your skin, eliminating steaks.  Make sure to get the tops of your feet, your sides, and use sparingly around your heels, knees, armpits and hands.  Then WASH HANDS -- scrub your nails so you don't end up with tan nails!

3. While waiting the 10 minutes for your tanner to set in, apply moisturizer/acne medication/face tanning lotion.  Make sure to rub in well around the neck, hairline and  lips, and very sparingly around the eyes (it burns!).  Apply styling  product to hair.  If you have wavy, partially dry hair like mine, you may want to start with some mousse to the roots (this gives the roots a boost and gives the style some hold).  Then apply a silicone-based shine serum, such as citri-shine, bioshine or biosilk from the ends, working up towards the nape of the neck.  Use what is left sparingly around the roots. 

4.  Start blow drying.  If  you have long hair like mine, you might want to just flip your head upside down and blow-dry with a paddle brush (for straighter styles) or a metal round brush (for more voluminous styles) until dry.  Then, sit back up and part your hair the opposite way you usually part it (this will give it lots of body after you finish styling).  While styling hair, turn on the straightener.  Make sure to give attention the the back of the head, where its most difficult to get hair styled.

5.  Time to straighten (notice I say straighten, not "flatten!).  Apply a protecting product as you go; this will both protect your hair from the heat and add manageability/shine.  Use the straightener first on bangs and the hair surrounding your face, pulling hair taut in the straightener and straight forward.  Then, straighten the bottom half of your hair to maintain body in the roots.  Take 3-inch sessions of hair, place in straightener, and pull hair taught until the end of the shaft, pulling out towards your shoulders.  After doing this to your entire head of hair, part it on your normal part.  Run over any flyaways or getaway curls, and leave for a more touchable look, or apply hairspray for hold.

Okay, so your hair looks fabulous, sleek and shiny.  Now for your make-up on your glowing, gorgeous, exfoliated skin!

1. Apply foundation and/or powder. Make sure its not darker than your natural skin tone! You may think this makes you look more tan, but it really just makes you look washed out.  Make sure to rub in around hairline and neck.  Then, apply blush to your cheeks.  I use an apricot/bright pink color on my cheeks to complement my fair skin.  Brush around the apples of your cheeks.  Now, the eyes.  I have dark brown eyes, and they are my favorite feature on my face, so I like to accent them.  I first apply shimmer shadow on my lids (a rust bronze or shimmery pink is my favorite) with a shadow applicator.  Then, I take a darker shadow, such as grey brown or black, and brush into my lash line on the top and outer bottom  lashes.  Then, I use a lash curler and apply waterproof mascara (non waterproof mascara will undo anything the lash curler does).  Lastly, lip color; I tend to use a color just a little more bold than my natural color to keep the emphasis on my eyes.  However, if your favorite feature is your lips, you may want to forego the dark shadow-rimmed lashes and replace that accent with a more shimmery or deep lip color, with jewel tones such as ruby red.

By now, your self tanner should be set.  You're good to go!  Remember to take some lip gloss for some touch-ups...

Anyone else want to share some beauty secrets?